So... It's Been A While

Instead of a lengthy sum-up type post, I will leave you with the following:

Today on the metro, I sat down when some seats opened up at Metro Center. A fat woman followed me right into the seats, so I got stuck with her on the outside. I am really not sure why she followed me, given that I was ahead of her and moving on a clear trajectory toward those particular seats. Plenty of other seats were open. Sometimes I think that if fat metro riders sense that the train is crowded enough that they will have to sit next to someone, they look for the skinniest butt to park alongside. You know, to look for someone who, like me, might not physically need the entire seat cushion (my psychological need not to feel someone else's ass fat pressed against my own is another story entirely).

Anyway. She was next to me and I was doing my best to sit tall and get my bag onto my lap so that it wouldn't take up any space between my body and the wall of the train. As I was shifting things around beside the wall of the train, a newspaper dislodged and revealed some very strange artifacts lying on the seat frame next to me. In fact, I found it so unbelievable that I did a double-take. Sure enough, they were nail clippings both times.

I'm not one of those people who gets her knickers in a wad over the tendency of other people to perform routine bodily maintenace tasks on the metro (makeup application, hair styling, nail polishing), but I did think that leaving nail clippings behind represented a new and humorous low. I was thinking that it's too bad that I'm not a member of elite law enforcement, because if I were, I could have taken those nail clippings, analyzed their DNA, and possibly identified the offender. Then I could have mailed the clippings to the culprit's house along with a threatening note telling them to clean up after themselves when grooming in public. I wonder how badly I would freak out if I were on the receiving end of a note like that?

Back to the fat woman next to me. I noticed that the seats around us emptied fully one time and she did not get up, as many people do, to take a set of two seats all to herself. I made a bet with myself that this was a bad sign and that she would probably not take well to getting up to let me out when it was my turn. She finally settled in to a comfortable, newspaper-extended position as we pulled into Dupont Circle. Too bad for her, because I had to get out at Woodley Park. I said, "Excuse me," as the train pulled into Woodley, and you should have seen the dirty look I got! It said something along the lines of, "You have got to be kidding me. You want me to stand up now?! Damn, I hate to move around." She got up very nimbly, though.