I'll Have a Pilsner Ur-Kwell, Please

Last night I was eating dinner with Josh at the Childe Harold because he wanted a burger, and we sat on the patio because the outside air was very pleasant. Pleasant outside air is not an everyday occurrence here in the swamp, and we like to take advantage of it when we're lucky enough to get it.

None of those details are actually relevant to my story, which is that someone at a neighboring table requested a "Pilsner Ur-kwell" when the waiter came by to take their drink order. Josh and I exchanged amused glances, but it wasn't until later that I had a chance to tell him what I had found particularly entertaining about the mispronunciation.

I thought that Ur-kwell would have been just the thing to solve the problems of those people on the tv who had to live next door to Steve Urkel. It could have been a kind of repellant for him. You see him coming, spray a little Ur-kwell, and then he has to settle down and be quiet.

For trademark and copyright purposes, of course, you'd have to spell it "Ur-kwell." Or maybe "Ur-qwell," which is actually my favorite of the two options. It gives you a chance to type Q-W-E, which never happens in real life but which is fun to do because they're next to each other on the keyboard.